Monday, November 7, 2011

On How the Past Catches Up to You...

I had something weird happen to me today.

Chris texted me.

You wouldn't know Chris. That's how long ago he was. 
It's been over three years.  I hadn't heard from him in three years before today.  And this was only the second time we communicated after we broke up. 
The first time was a week after he broke up with me.  He called to explain why...which I'm glad he did because I was reeling.  I couldn't understand.  Even after he explained, I was still reeling.  I reeled for a while.

It took me a long time to get over it.  Longer than even I knew.  Even when I stopped thinking about him every day, I think I was still looking for him.  Every guy I dated after him shared something with him.  For one, they were all blond-haired, blue-eyed.  They were almost all marines.  But none of them matched up.

Up until a month ago, he was the nicest guy I ever dated.  I think he may have been the only one who ever truly liked me.  He was the only one that ever made me hope for the future.

Until a month ago, I think I was always trying to find someone like him.

But then a month ago I met James, who is now the nicest guy I ever dated.  Who has brown hair and green eyes.  Who makes me feel even better.  Who is a better match for me.  Better suited for me--the 22-year-old me.  I am so far away from my 18-year-old self.  It  seems weird to hear from someone that only knew me at that age.  He doesn't know anything about who I've become...anything about what's happened in my life...anything about how he affected me.

I've finally moved on...truly. 

It's weird that he texted.